5.27.2010

twenty.


i am officially twenty years old.... or should i say twenty years young?
it's kind of a big deal to turn twenty to me. i am no longer in my teens & it feels old. but then again i think about it and it's not very old at all.
i just feel like one chapter of my life has come to an end but another one has just begun & i am looking forward to what's to come in my twenties.
my teenage years were a blast. i have so many good memories & i have no regrets. i think i lived those years as fully as i could so i hope to do the same in my twenties.
i'm sure the next ten years will be great (although i'm sure there will be some hard times as well) and even though i thought life couldn't get any better in my teenage years... i do believe that those years are no where near the best years of my life.
i have so much left to experience & to accomplish.
so here i go.......

5.23.2010

my dad. the best dad.


"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."
-clarence b. kelland

It was my dad's birthday on Wednesday & with all the stress from the accident, the day wasn't very focused on him. Although, we did have a small birthday party as a family for him after having a Spaghetti dinner (my dad's and my favorite). I know he didn't care though because things are never about him; its always about his family.
He is the most selfless person I know & has never once thought about himself over us. After all, he drives the crappiest car of all the cars in our driveway. Usually parents have the nice cars and the kids have the old clunkers. But he sacrifices so much for us when we don't even ask him to and has worked hard every single day of his life to make sure we have everything we could ever need & more. We have never gone without. I know most fathers do that for their children, when they are children. But he has done everything he can for me even as I have become a young woman. He has always been there for me & I know he always will be right behind me. He is such a strength in my life & I wouldn't be who & where I am today without him.
He has always told us to "live, and let live". So to not judge others but just live your life how you want & let them live theirs how they want. I think that is how he has raised us. He has always let us be who we want to be and has never forced us to do or be something we didn't want to. He has just supported us in everything we wanted to do and I love him for it.
I know i'm a little biased, but I think my dad is the best dad there is. I love & appreciate him more that words can express so I guess I just hope he knows that.
I love you daddy.
Love, Squirt.

P.s. Please don't pay much attention to my poor, bruised, neck-braced-face in the picture. hehe.

5.19.2010

just happy to be here.


Our week spent with Ben, Kristi, and the twins was a lot of fun. Savannah & I both agree that we are going to be awesome mothers because after taking care of two babies for a week... one baby is going to be a piece of cake! (we aren't even considering the fact we could have twins as well.... too stressful to think about). Anyways, the week was good and exhausting. We were ready to be on the road & get home to Utah since we both are leaving for the summer in just 2 1/2 weeks and had plenty of things to do.

We had hung out with Eric the night before we left & I ended up leaving my camera in the back of his truck and didn't realize it until the morning so I called him and he agreed to meet us in Phoenix on our way home so I could get it back. We said our sad goodbyes & were on the road but already off to a late start. We mentioned how meeting up with Eric to get my camera would put us behind schedule and get us home even later but we began talking about how there are those incidents where people will leave things at home and have to turn around and drive all the way back but what if they didn't and they would have gotten in an accident? Or how life is a chain of events and just one little change or decision can completely change the way the rest of your day goes, you just never know what could happen. Well after talking about this we decided we would stop & get lunch while we were there so we wouldn't have to stop later and for some reason it felt like we were meant to stop (completely ironic conversation just an hour before the accident happened).

So we stopped at "what-a-burger", I like going there when I'm in Arizona since we don't have it here in Utah. We then followed Eric so that he could put us on the right highway headed to Flagstaff. He exited the highway and we waved goodbye (not knowing we would be seeing him again shortly) and then just about ten minutes down the road we came to a sudden stop. While stopped, I was talking on the phone to my brother Devin when I looked up at my review mirror & saw the scariest thing I have ever seen. I saw a huge, white, semi tow-truck (yes, the kind of diesels that are big enough to tow other diesels) that was obviously out of control because the front part of it was facing my car, while the back of it was coming at us sideways. Right then I began screaming "it's gonna hit me! it's gonna hit me!" and right after Savannah turned around to see it and screamed, it did. I don't remember what went on exactly for the next.... 30 seconds or so. It all happened so fast.

All I know is we were in the far left lane and ended up in the lane to our right facing the median. When my car came to a stop I remember just being in shock, I didn't know what to even think. I looked over at Savannah and I remember seeing her yelling "my head! my head!" and I noticed my phone still in my hand (I must have braced for the impact & held my phone really tight in my hand) I started bawling and screaming to Devin on the phone trying to tell him what happened but all he said was "Lindsey I can't hear you! You are okay! Stop joking!" and then people opened our doors and assured us that everything would be okay and that an ambulance was on the way. My nose was bleeding so they got me tissues then took the phone from me and explained what happened to my confused brother. We were pretty hysterical, I remember freaking out about my eye and my car. The people at the scene kept telling me that my eye would be fine and my car was totaled but that didn't matter because I was just lucky to be alive. There was this nice couple who helped us... i'm not even sure to this day if they were involved in the 6 car pile up or not but I don't think Savannah and I would have been okay if it weren't for their kindness in comforting us until the ambulance arrived. When it did, they took us out of the car on stretchers and put us in separate ambulances and took us to separate hospitals. Can you believe it? I kept asking all the paramedics about where Savannah was and how she was and they just said they didn't know anything about who was in the car with me. How frustrating! Later on they figured out that she had been taken somewhere else but luckily Brady (Adam's best friend) and his wife were able to go to Savannah and Eric and his mom were able to be with me.
All I kept thinking over and over again was how I couldn't believe that had really happened. In arizona. Without our families there to be with us. Away from our homes. When I was leaving to Hawaii in a few weeks and Savannah was leaving to Italy. That my car was totaled. That I didn't know how I was going to get home. And I wasn't sure how bad our injuries were yet. But somehow I knew we were blessed. Because I was talking and thinking. I think I annoyed the paramedic to death on the way to the hospital with all my questions in the ambulance but he just said he was happy I was talking so much because he'd be worried if I wasn't.

After doing a CT scan and then an MRI, the doctor was happy to tell me that there were no fractures or brakes, just severe whip lash and that was why I couldn't lift my head. I was pleased to hear that because when he had asked me earlier to lift my head, nothing happened. I started crying thinking I was paralyzed but he said that is common with you know... getting hit by a diesel truck and that my neck muscles would eventually be able to lift my head again. My face was bruised & swelling but I was just happy to be as good as I was.I was released that night but didn't get much sleep. I couldn't get comfortable and my mind kept replaying the semi-truck coming at me in my review mirror.

The next day: I had been hit by a semi-truck and I FELT like I had been hit by a semi-truck. It wasn't a fun day because even though Savannah and I weren't feeling good we had to go to the car lot they took my car to and get our luggage. It was sad to see my car so damaged and lifeless. I couldn't believe I was going to have to forever leave it there in Arizona. Eric pried his way into the trunk in order to get our smashed luggage out & then I emptied my car and sat in the driver seat one last time. It was my graduation present almost exactly 2 years ago and I loved it. But it had taken the beating for me & saved our lives. Nobody at the crash scene could believe it had held up the impact so well.
We then headed to the airport. I wasn't excited for the flight but I was so excited to get home to see my family. Our seats were the very back row of the plane so we boarded the plane once everybody was already seated & it was amusing to watch all the heads turn to look at my bruised, swollen, and neck-braced-face. The flight went okay and then after the airport employees had us ride on one of those little airport cars to baggage claim since we couldn't carry our bags and that drew even more attention to my face as the guy honked his way through the crowds. haha ooh how I was hoping I didn't see anybody I knew.
After the 40 minute car ride it was HOME SWEET HOME. It was so good to see my family again. To hug them again knowing I could have been dead, or just a lot worse than I was. I was out the second my head hit the pillow that night.
It was one crazy ending to our little road trip to Arizona. I definitely didn't plan on getting hit by a diesel but then again, who does? All I know is we weren't lucky; we were blessed. Someone was watching over us and i'm so grateful to be alive. There is nothing like being in a serious accident to put your life into perspective, to realize how each day is a gift and not to be taken for granted. I love all my friends & family so much and I want to thank you all for your love and support. I couldn't get through this without each of you :)
Love, me.

5.12.2010

twice the fun.


sooooo i'm just sitting here on the couch in this quiet house in hot & sunny arizona.
the key word here is [quiet].

no babies crying right now.
savannah was on night shift last night & they were probably up a lot of the night seeing as its noon and the mama, savannah, and the twins are all sleeping.
including the dog.
so its just me. i slept just lovely last night though, thanks for asking.
which is good because when i was on night shift last night, elise decided she didn't want to sleep unless she was being held and rocked, so i didn't get much sleep.
and it was then that i was debating whether i wanted to have kids or not. haa weeeell of course i do... just not for awhile. which is good since i'm not even married yet. that would probably be the first step.
but besides being tired a lot of the time, the twins are so much fun :)
elise is the brown haired baby and is a tad bit bigger. she tends to be a little more high-maintenance than her sister but we love her just the same.
brielle is the little blondie who is usually more low-key.
they are such dolls.
i can't wait to see them grow up.

p.s. i'm just thinking about how many diapers i'll have changed by the end of the week. lets see... diaper changes are every 3 hours so thats 8 a day... for 7 days... times all that by 2 since they are twins. thats about 112 diapers. wow.

5.06.2010

just words.

today has been a long day because i am really tired.
i didn't get much sleep last night.
i can't sleep very well lately because my mind won't be quiet.
i am always lying in bed having endless thoughts about my day, what i need to do the next day, what i'm worried about, what i'm excited for, etc. etc. etc.
so on top of not getting much sleep i had to work all day. outside.
i never work outside but today they needed extra help so i said i would & it just happened to be like the coldest day of the week. it was only 36 degrees when i first started working today and it didn't get much warmer.
where is this cold weather coming from????
good thing i'm going to arizona on sunday for a whole entire week. yeeees.
oh, did i not tell you?
savannah & i are going on a little road trip to big ol' arizona city (sarcasm... its actually a small town in the middle of the desert) to help kristi with her adorable little twin girls.
elise & brielle (:
i can't wait to meet them.
and a week away will be a nice break even though i'll be leaving to hawaii 2 & a half weeks later for 6 weeks... that should be a big enough break, eh?
i am very anxious to be in the warm arizona sun though. oh joy!
soooooo.... like i said i am very tired & my day is not even close to over.
i am having a {girls night} with my besties since we are all going our separate ways soon.
tear.
i'm sure it'll be a crazily random night just like it was last week.
just hopefully i won't randomly collapse & fall asleep.
i need more sleeeeeeep.
the end.
:)

5.04.2010

laughing with.

i really love this song (its my song of the week).
regina spektor is so unique & this song really makes me think.
i feel like it seems so simple but probably has different meaning to everybody.
so feel free to take it as it is to you.


No one laughs at God in a hospital

No one laughs at God in a war

No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor



No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests

No one's laughing at God when it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else and they hope that they're mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say, "We've got some bad new, sir"
No one's laughing at God when there's a famine, fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they're about to choke

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God when they've lost all they got and they don't know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one's laughing at God when they're saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they're about to choke

God can be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one's laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war

No one's laughing at God when they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
We're all laughing with God
how come time always flies by but once I get to work it seems to come almost to a complete stop? gaaahhh.
P.s. I'm trying blogging by texting. pretty legit.

5.03.2010

i'm dreaming of summer nights.

just played some good ol' basketball with the family outside.
it brought back memories playing h.o.r.s.e. & speed. can't remember the last time i played those games.
it made me realize how excited i am for summer nights. it was 65 degrees outside this evening & it felt so nice... i can't even imagine what a summer night will feel like.
summer nights are the beeest. especially for things like:
star gazing. night games. sleeping on the tramp. sitting outside talking in shorts & a t-shirt. sitting on my shed roof over-looking the view of the city lights. night walks. catching fireflies in a jar (oh wait.. I wish we actually had fireflies here, how cool would that be?)
life is just good in the summer. so why do i live somewhere that gets so gosh dang cold in the winter? well i guess having all 4 seasons is good. cause skiing is good. & snow angels are good. okaaay i guess its worth it but for now all i'm thinking about is {summer}

5.02.2010

inspiration is everywhere.

even in the movie "harriet the spy". yes, i found inspiration in that movie. i always loved it when i was younger. harriet is a young girl that aspires to be a writer so she spies & writes down everything she does & everything she sees. cheesy? not at all. i wanted to be just like her. she has a nanny named "golly" (played by rosie o'donnell) who has a great outlook on life.
in the movie golly says:
"There are as many ways to live in this world as there are people in this world, and each one deserves a closer look."
how true is that? sometimes i feel people tend to be so close-minded & set in their ways that they feel the way they live is the right way and don't care to take the time to look any closer at the way someone else lives. there is so much to learn from one another.
a conversation between golly & harriet:
harriet: I want to remember everything. And I want to know everything.
golly: Well, you must realize, Harriet, knowing everything won't do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty in this world. True or false?
harriet: True.
golly: Of course it is.
once again, very true. knowing just isn't enough; we need to apply. what is knowledge if we don't do anything with it?
last but not least:
"Good friends are one of life's blessings. Don't give them up without a fight."
thanks for my inspiration of the day, golly.