british accents & big, red buses.

big ben

our last stop on our european adventure..... LONDON.

this was round-two for me in london (two years later) and i loved it just as much this time around. it was fun to be surrounded by english again but in british accents, even better. we stayed with brion & bethany in chigwell who were far too kind to open their living room up to us. as i said it last time, i would love to live in london for some period of time in my life. maybe one day? these pictures about sum up our time in london:

london's soho area

our first morning in london (alicia hadn't arrived yet - long story)

camden town market - so fun!

making a pit stop at hogwarts

yield = give way. love it.

we found the muffin man!

taxi//

hyde park

buckingham palace

the cutest guards around

westminster abbey where prince william & kate were married.
we attended a service here for the church of england and it was really interesting. all about prayers for the royal family.

taking off to neverland

up, up & away

an empty train ride to chigwell

an "underground" sign

the four months away from home was a huge success.

so many wonderful people met.

so much breath-taking scenery.

lots of history learned.

and memories that will never be forgotten.

we were forever changed.

berlin

brandenburg gate

I am finally blogging the last two cities on our european adventure. i can't believe how fast time has flown since i've been home but here it goes; after prague we made our way on a five-hour train to berlin, germany. a lot more english was found the more northern we got in europe and we probably heard it the most in germany (other than london... obviously ;). a nice, german woman helped us find our hostel which was brand new and really nice. it was the first time we stayed in a big dorm room with bunk beds but we were willing to save as much money as possible seeing as we'd been traveling for three weeks by then. but surprisingly the people in the dorm were all really nice and i slept like a baby since we were so exhausted every night.

The first thing that comes to mind about berlin (i'm really recalling everything by memory now since i've waited eight months to blog this) is the weather. it was COLD. we had to layer every warm item of clothing we brought and it was still pretty darn chilly because of the wind. but luckily we survived. berlin has so much history but a lot of it is hard to be seen since most of the city was destroyed in the cold war and has been re-built since then so a lot of the scenery is newer and more modern compared to the other european cities we visited.

I'm so glad we were able to take a walking tour of the city because there is so much about the history we wouldn't have learned without a tour-guide. we made a stop in the middle of a random apartment complex parking lot and found out that under that parking lot was hitler's bunker and that is where he was killed. however, they have obviously made no notice of it so that people don't worship it... or blow it up.

holocaust memorial

Going to the holocaust memorial in berlin was a very humbling experience. it is made up of a bunch of different sized blocks that you can walk in between and sort of get lost in. the ground is uneven through out the memorial. it was designed that way so when you go in it it is very unsettling and unpredictable which is probably how many people felt through out the war.

Then underground is the holocaust museum with many stories of Jews that suffered in concentration camps and lost their lives. there were letters written to families and journal entries that had been found. it was really hard to take it all in. our tour-guide told us that even now there is sort of a certain feeling in berlin of people who have not long ago lost so much and are still getting over it. it was a big eye-opening experience.

Berlin definitely had the best frankfurts (hot dogs) around. and German was still way over my head by the time we left however we did learn "ich liebe dich" which means "i love you".... and i feel that is always a good thing to know in any language.

complaints about packing & time.

{sorry for the blurry photo taken from my comp. due to my laziness}

here i am. wearing the backpack that i must pack three and a half months of my life into.

& i'm not trying to be dramatic or anything but every time i walk in my room and see that  backpack a tear rolls down my cheek.

okay, so maybe i'm being a little dramatic. but seriously. it pains me just a little to think i must fit everything into that {fairly small} backpack.

i know once i'm there i won't be longing for much. cause like i blogged last summer when i went to hawaii in this post about how much stuff we have that we don't really need; i know i can survive three & a half months with this backpack.

so now that i'm over having a high-maintenance moment...

lets talk about time.

time is a fragile and fleeting thing. i have come to realize this year after year.

because i definitely understand what people mean when they say the older you get, the faster time flies.

and it is surely flying.

i will be on a plane to europe in just five days.

"time. its always time on my mind.

so pass me by. i'll be fine, just give me time."

i love that song by damien rice. i would love if time slowed down a little bit the rest of this week so i can

get everything done that i need to & just enjoy utah and everyone here a little bit longer.

however, i know when it comes time to leave on sunday (at 5:30am...) i will be ready.

because even though leaving my cell phone, my bed, my car, my wardrobe, some of my friends, & my family... i am ready for another adventure full of new experiences.

and i am also SO ready to be sitting on this....

  

see you soon mallorca!

like, woah.

i am TWENTY-ONE!
there is something about turning 21 that is empowering.
i really feel like this age might be the perfect one. & i'd probably be fine if i stayed 21 for a few extra years.
these past few years have been lovely in so many ways. i think back to when i graduated high school & i realize how much i have grown since then. you think you know everything as a high school student but you have barely even dipped your toes in the waters of life.
these past three years have been a roller coaster of so many experiences & i am grateful for each and every one of them. the good & the bad. i know so much more about myself & about the world around me. i know i will never be done learning though, which is fine with me.
i somehow have been blessed with amazing opportunities & i can't wait to embark on my next adventure in spain. this time with not just one but three of my best friends! yeah, i'd say life is treating me pretty darn good these days.
so here is to being twenty-one! i have a feeling it really might be the best year yet.


p.s. thankyou weather for giving me some warmth & sunshine for my day of birth(:

life. 
it is so confusing & frustrating at times.
just when you think all is good & clear, it changes.
nothing ever stays the same.
change is inevitable. there is no avoiding it. 
sometimes change can be good. i mean a lot of times i even like change.
but other times i don't. especially when its the kind of change that takes my clarity away from me.
the clear path i am on disappears right in front of me & when i open my eyes again, i am in an unfamiliar place.
a place i have never been before. and it scares me.
fear takes over. fear of the unknown. fear of change.
this new place is foggy & i can't see clearly where that new path will lead me.
how can i trust that it will lead me somewhere i can feel safe & secure again?
and when will i find that clarity & peace that once was mine?
the things is, i don't know. and there is that fear again.
but this time i tell myself its okay. that somehow this path will lead me to exactly where i need to be. 
because in all this confusion there is still one thing i know with a surety. that i can "trust an unknown future to an all-knowing god". 
and that is all i need to know right now.

brunette.

the new year called for new hair.
i know blondes have more fun but so far being a brunette ain't so bad!
i think i'm gonna like this.... til summer comes around anyway :)

the time has come

to say goodbye to another year.
for me, it is somewhat bittersweet but deep down i can feel the excitement of a new year. a fresh slate. renewed hope. a time to make the changes that you felt it was too late to change a few months ago. 


it's been an amazing year though so i'd like to review 2010:


-i got to visit kristi in arizona to help with her newborn twins
-i got hit by a semi-truck & had my first real ambulance ride (okay... not exactly included in the "amazing" parts of 2010 but it needed to be said)
-i turned twenty
-i lived in hawaii for most of the summer
-holly came to visit from england
-i went on a ten day road trip with my best girlfriends to st. george, vegas, LA, santa cruz, & san fransisco
-i bought a new car
-i successfully completed my fourth & fifth semesters at UVU (i swear i was a freshman only yesterday....)
-and i met dustin :)


it was a lovely year. can't wait to make 2011 even lovelier. 

a few of my new years resolutions: (if i blog about them, i may just keep them up a little better)


-carry my camera with me wherever i go (and save up for a much nicer camera)
-wear red (or not so red) lipstick whenever i feel like it & not be ashamed... just because i can
-live more passionately
-read more books
-speak kinder words
-exercise, exercise, exercise (so cliche, but i have a gym pass that i'm paying for & it needs to be used!)
-do one simple act of kindness daily (as i blogged about in the past here)
-learn to play the piano (i'm super excited about this.. i hired jamie, tylers girlfriend, to be my personal piano teacher)


okay, i think i can handle that. i'm looking forward to improving myself this year. growing closer to my heavenly father. & being the best me i can be. i hope to hear some of your new years resolutions as well! 


bring on 2011! (live it up since the world will end in 2012...........ha, just kidding.)

sometimes when i close my eyes...

i picture myself somewhere like these pictures.

pictures i took of the countryside in hawaii

i am in the midst of a lot of decisions. big decisions.

i am standing in this big, wide, open space & there are thousands of directions i could go.

even the tiniest shift in my place would take me in an entirely different direction.

this is exactly where i'm at in life right now. i am twenty years young. but this is the time when the biggest decisions are made.

& at this point in my life i'm not very limited. i have the world at my fingertips (okay, maybe not the world... because money is limiting. but you know what i mean). so, where to go from here?

i'm not exactly the quickest decision maker... i tend to over-think things a lot. 

i write so many pros & cons and analyze them to the point that i'm even more confused.

but after thinking so very much lately i have found that there just may not be one right decision or direction to take.

how will i ever know that the decision i make is right or wrong? i won't. because i will never know the difference of my decision; whether the other choice would have been better or not. and that is a good thing because no matter what comes out of each decision i make; i will always learn something from it. i will gain new experiences & hopefully be better equipped for the next time it's time to change directions & make another decision. 

and even though it seems sometimes like i have no idea what to do next... i know that deep down i will always know what i truly want to do and what i think would be best for me. i just need to stop thinking with my head & trust myself. 

thanks for baring with me through my mess of jumbled thoughts.  

i came across this quote today on this lovely blog. it pretty much sums it all up.

some stories don't
have a clear beginning,

middle, and end. life

is about not knowing,

having to change,

taking the moment and 

making the best of it,

without knowing what's 

going to happen next.

delicious ambiguity...

-gilda radner

hawaiian summer.

the past week basically flew by.

& my life changed.

i am now living in hawaii in the "canal house" & the beach is my backyard.

can you guess that i am lovinggg it? well yes, indeed i am!

my thoughts of the past 3 days.....

the flight: kind of long

the island: so green & pretty

the roommates: so nice & fun

the beaches: amazing

the canal house: a fun little beach house

(the beach backyard makes up for any bugs that tend to creep in the house)

the people: friendly

the food: expensive

the campus: small (in a good way)

life is good here on the island. when i'm sitting in my living room listening to the ocean waves outside our window i realize again that i'm really living in hawaii. i'm sure the next six weeks are going to come & go so let the adventures begin :)

twenty.

i am officially twenty years old.... or should i say twenty years young?

it's kind of a big deal to turn twenty to me. i am no longer in my teens & it feels old. but then again i think about it and it's not very old at all.

i just feel like one chapter of my life has come to an end but another one has just begun & i am looking forward to what's to come in my twenties.

my teenage years were a blast. i have so many good memories & i have no regrets. i think i lived those years as fully as i could so i hope to do the same in my twenties.

i'm sure the next ten years will be great (although i'm sure there will be some hard times as well) and even though i thought life couldn't get any better in my teenage years... i do believe that those years are no where near the best years of my life.

i have so much left to experience & to accomplish.

so here i go.......

just happy to be here.

Our week spent with Ben, Kristi, and the twins was a lot of fun. Savannah & I both agree that we are going to be awesome mothers because after taking care of two babies for a week... one baby is going to be a piece of cake! (we aren't even considering the fact we could have twins as well.... too stressful to think about). Anyways, the week was good and exhausting. We were ready to be on the road & get home to Utah since we both are leaving for the summer in just 2 1/2 weeks and had plenty of things to do.

We had hung out with Eric the night before we left & I ended up leaving my camera in the back of his truck and didn't realize it until the morning so I called him and he agreed to meet us in Phoenix on our way home so I could get it back. We said our sad goodbyes & were on the road but already off to a late start. We mentioned how meeting up with Eric to get my camera would put us behind schedule and get us home even later but we began talking about how there are those incidents where people will leave things at home and have to turn around and drive all the way back but what if they didn't and they would have gotten in an accident? Or how life is a chain of events and just one little change or decision can completely change the way the rest of your day goes, you just never know what could happen. Well after talking about this we decided we would stop & get lunch while we were there so we wouldn't have to stop later and for some reason it felt like we were meant to stop (completely ironic conversation just an hour before the accident happened).

So we stopped at "what-a-burger", I like going there when I'm in Arizona since we don't have it here in Utah. We then followed Eric so that he could put us on the right highway headed to Flagstaff. He exited the highway and we waved goodbye (not knowing we would be seeing him again shortly) and then just about ten minutes down the road we came to a sudden stop. While stopped, I was talking on the phone to my brother Devin when I looked up at my review mirror & saw the scariest thing I have ever seen. I saw a huge, white, semi tow-truck (yes, the kind of diesels that are big enough to tow other diesels) that was obviously out of control because the front part of it was facing my car, while the back of it was coming at us sideways. Right then I began screaming "it's gonna hit me! it's gonna hit me!" and right after Savannah turned around to see it and screamed, it did. I don't remember what went on exactly for the next.... 30 seconds or so. It all happened so fast.

All I know is we were in the far left lane and ended up in the lane to our right facing the median. When my car came to a stop I remember just being in shock, I didn't know what to even think. I looked over at Savannah and I remember seeing her yelling "my head! my head!" and I noticed my phone still in my hand (I must have braced for the impact & held my phone really tight in my hand) I started bawling and screaming to Devin on the phone trying to tell him what happened but all he said was "Lindsey I can't hear you! You are okay! Stop joking!" and then people opened our doors and assured us that everything would be okay and that an ambulance was on the way. My nose was bleeding so they got me tissues then took the phone from me and explained what happened to my confused brother. We were pretty hysterical, I remember freaking out about my eye and my car. The people at the scene kept telling me that my eye would be fine and my car was totaled but that didn't matter because I was just lucky to be alive. There was this nice couple who helped us... i'm not even sure to this day if they were involved in the 6 car pile up or not but I don't think Savannah and I would have been okay if it weren't for their kindness in comforting us until the ambulance arrived. When it did, they took us out of the car on stretchers and put us in separate ambulances and took us to separate hospitals. Can you believe it? I kept asking all the paramedics about where Savannah was and how she was and they just said they didn't know anything about who was in the car with me. How frustrating! Later on they figured out that she had been taken somewhere else but luckily Brady (Adam's best friend) and his wife were able to go to Savannah and Eric and his mom were able to be with me.

All I kept thinking over and over again was how I couldn't believe that had really happened. In arizona. Without our families there to be with us. Away from our homes. When I was leaving to Hawaii in a few weeks and Savannah was leaving to Italy. That my car was totaled. That I didn't know how I was going to get home. And I wasn't sure how bad our injuries were yet. But somehow I knew we were blessed. Because I was talking and thinking. I think I annoyed the paramedic to death on the way to the hospital with all my questions in the ambulance but he just said he was happy I was talking so much because he'd be worried if I wasn't.

After doing a CT scan and then an MRI, the doctor was happy to tell me that there were no fractures or brakes, just severe whip lash and that was why I couldn't lift my head. I was pleased to hear that because when he had asked me earlier to lift my head, nothing happened. I started crying thinking I was paralyzed but he said that is common with you know... getting hit by a diesel truck and that my neck muscles would eventually be able to lift my head again. My face was bruised & swelling but I was just happy to be as good as I was.I was released that night but didn't get much sleep. I couldn't get comfortable and my mind kept replaying the semi-truck coming at me in my review mirror.

The next day: I had been hit by a semi-truck and I FELT like I had been hit by a semi-truck. It wasn't a fun day because even though Savannah and I weren't feeling good we had to go to the car lot they took my car to and get our luggage. It was sad to see my car so damaged and lifeless. I couldn't believe I was going to have to forever leave it there in Arizona. Eric pried his way into the trunk in order to get our smashed luggage out & then I emptied my car and sat in the driver seat one last time. It was my graduation present almost exactly 2 years ago and I loved it. But it had taken the beating for me & saved our lives. Nobody at the crash scene could believe it had held up the impact so well.

We then headed to the airport. I wasn't excited for the flight but I was so excited to get home to see my family. Our seats were the very back row of the plane so we boarded the plane once everybody was already seated & it was amusing to watch all the heads turn to look at my bruised, swollen, and neck-braced-face. The flight went okay and then after the airport employees had us ride on one of those little airport cars to baggage claim since we couldn't carry our bags and that drew even more attention to my face as the guy honked his way through the crowds. haha ooh how I was hoping I didn't see anybody I knew.

After the 40 minute car ride it was HOME SWEET HOME. It was so good to see my family again. To hug them again knowing I could have been dead, or just a lot worse than I was. I was out the second my head hit the pillow that night.

It was one crazy ending to our little road trip to Arizona. I definitely didn't plan on getting hit by a diesel but then again, who does? All I know is we weren't lucky; we were blessed. Someone was watching over us and i'm so grateful to be alive. There is nothing like being in a serious accident to put your life into perspective, to realize how each day is a gift and not to be taken for granted. I love all my friends & family so much and I want to thank you all for your love and support. I couldn't get through this without each of you :)

Love, me.